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• What is Sexual Assault?
• If You've Been Raped
• Hospital Response
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• Common Reactions to Rape
• Male Survivors
• Sexual Assault Myths
• Referrals: Where to get Help
• Family and Friends
• Sexual Assault Myths
• Reactions of Loved Ones
• How to Support a Survivor
• Resources for Loved Ones
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Sexual Assault Myths

Below are common misconceptions regarding sexual violence. These beliefs can be very dangerous because they often blame the victim and downplay the assault as “not a real rape.” These ideas often further isolate survivors and keep them from speaking out and reporting the crime. It is also difficult to prosecute rapists, since jurors often believe these myths.

Myth: If a person does not fight back or say “no,” then he/she was not sexually assaulted.

Fact: Any time someone is forced to engage in sexual behavior against their will, they have been sexually assaulted. A person who experiences trauma may freeze or go numb due to shock or fear. Our brains are programmed to do this as a way of survival. This is why it is important to ask for a “yes” before engaging in sexual activity instead of assuming you’ll hear a “no” if the other person does not want to proceed.

Myth: A person who has been sexually assaulted will be hysterical.

Fact: On the surface, some sexual assault victims appear to go about their day-to-day lives as if nothing happened due to shock, trauma, shame and guilt. Victims can exhibit a wide range of responses, including apathy, shock, calmness, withdrawal, denial and hysteria.

Myth: Men can’t be raped.

Fact: Sexual assault can happen to anyone: In fact, about 1 in 33 men have been sexually assaulted and many believe this number is much higher, but stigmas surrounding male victimization keep many people from coming forward.

Myth: If a person is visibly intoxicated or passed out due to alcohol or dug use, it is okay to have sex with her/him.

Fact: While it is possible for people who are intoxicated to engage in consensual sexual activity, there are many situations when a person who is severely intoxicated or unconscious is considered defenseless and unable to give consent.

Myth: If a person goes into someone’s room or house, they assume the risk of sexual assault. If something happens later, it is their fault since they knew better than to go to those places.

Fact: Just because a person goes into someone’s residence does not mean he/she is consenting to all or any sexual activity. They may like a person and want to spend time with them, but that doesn’t mean they are “asking for it.”

Myth: If he/she had sex with me before, he/she has consented to have sex with me again.

Fact: Previous sexual contact, including previous consent to sex, is not consent for right now. A person has the right to control what happens with their body. Any nonconsensual sexual activity with a former or current sexual partner, spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend is considered rape.

Myth: Most rapes are committed by strangers in the dark.

Fact: Most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim like a family member, friend, coach, co-worker or intimate partner. About 73% of rape victims knew their assailant according to the 2005 National Crime Victim Survey.

Myth: Females often “cry rape” to get even with a male or as an alibi for other behaviors, like missing curfew or cheating.

Fact: FBI data suggests that unfounded claims of rape are no higher than the false claims of other crimes.

Myth: Men who rape boys are gay.

Fact: 98% of males who raped boys reported that they were heterosexual in the 1998 article “Sexual Abuse of Boys” in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Rape is about taking power and control away from someone and should not be confused with sex or sexual identity.

Myth: If a person wears sexy clothing, they either want sex or are responsible if someone interprets their clothes as a signal for wanting sex.

Fact: A desire to look attractive through clothing does not mean that a person is asking for sex. Everyone is entitled to feel attractive and to use their dress to achieve this feeling.

Myth: Most white women are sexually assaulted by Latino or African-American men.

Fact: Research indicates that most perpetrators sexually assault those that are the same race or ethnicity as they are. This belief only further perpetuates racism and stereotypes.

Myth: If a person has an orgasm or ejaculates, then it can’t be considered rape because they enjoyed it.

Fact: Our bodies are wired to respond to physical contact. These responses are physiological and have nothing to do with whether or not the contact was wanted.